Commies and Nazis

New Leader of the Opposition Tony Abbott has likened the Copenhagen Conference to the Munich Agreement negotiated in the prelude to World War Two. Just in case you don’t remember that Agreement was marked, of course, by “weak leaders caving in to Adolf Hitler.” (Abbott’s words and interpretation)

According to this analogy (and clearly in Liberals’ minds) climate change activists are clandestine Nazis. I’m glad he’s cleared that up for me: when Copenhagen was but a twinkle in Ban Ki Moon’s eye I was already riven with angst; nervous that Hu, Obama and Merkel might cede their industrial Sudetenlands for rape and pillage by eco-Nazis, while polluting capitalists were herded together for ‘re-education’ in special camps. It’s good to see someone keeping on eye on things.

But wait a minute…

Two weeks ago, didn’t Abbott’s trusty lieutenant (puppeteer?) Senator Nick Minchin explicate that the global warming ‘myth’ was the invention of left wing radicals opining for the good ol’ days of the Soviet Union? Copenhagen, Kyoto, et. al. were patently, he told us, nought more than vehicles through which pinkos could and would further their insidious, internationalist goal of “de-industrialising the western world.”

I believed Senator Minchin, Tony, and now I want to believe you. But I’m obviously a bit confused, and I need some help to answer a few questions about global warming’s foes:

Is Obama actually a fascist? Where one might expect Hu Jintao to keep a copy of Mao’s Little Red Book is there actually a copy of Mein Kampf?

Or are the free-market champions like Merkel and Sarkozy actually minions of a resurgent, red preponderance to the east, led by a Medvedev who hums bars from Trotsky’s Lament sub rosa? Is Queen Elizabeth II going to head their New World Order?

And since you are a staunch Catholic Mr Abbott, I thought you might be able to ask Cardinal Pell for me: Benedict XVI, Commy or Nazi?

A Government-in-Exile

Has anyone else noticed something odd about the new Opposition frontbench?

At a time when the need for renewal within the Liberal Party is almost universally proclaimed, Abbott has chosen to reinstate the frontbench positions of three Howard era Ministers: Bronwyn ‘bathe me in kerosene’ Bishop, Kevin ‘deport me without cause’ Andrews and Philip ‘they threw children overboard’ Ruddock.

Rather than constructing an effective opposition, it seems Abbott has decided to set up a “government-in-exile” that has a collective amnesia for the period on and around 24 November 2007.

Odd: but certainly proof of the adage that “everything old is new again.”

And is anyone else concerned that the exceedingly important shadow Health portfolio is vested in a man who still doesn’t appear to have a seat come the next election?

It's really scary what you hear on the radio.

I heard an interesting quote this morning from a man the ABC described as a ‘leading’ climate change sceptic.

“…voters will not tolerate the largest tax increase in the history of humankind in the name of saving a planet which was successfully saved two thousand years ago and does not need to be saved again.”

Presumably, that was a reference to the Christian Messiah.

So those on the left are accused of religious zealotry in their opposition to continued carbon pollution, while those on the nutty right are permitted to use fairytales to justify their cause.

But I will play their game, for a minute, and attempt to apply cosmic logic to the creation and workings of the Judeo-Christian Almighty. I reckon that when She created Venus, gave it a 96.5% carbon dioxide atmosphere, allowed its atmosphere to reach temperatures of more than 400 degrees, and placed it closer to Earth than any other planet, that She was actually leaving us with a giant, cosmic warning buoy. And you know if I pray hard enough, I can hear Her echo across the sky every time I watch our fiery yellow sister traversing the sky… “Emulate this planet at your peril.”

But out of fairytale land, and back to reality. The man I originally quoted is a delegate to the Copenhagen Conference. And if there are other people like him there, hindering progress on a global agreement on climate change we will, in fact, need Super Jesus.

Thanks, Helen.

There aren’t too many Liberals for whom I have affection. But Helen Coonan is one of them. She has just announced her resignation from the Shadow Ministry. Barnaby is her likely replacement. Shame. Senator Coonan was a moderate, a Republican, and a woman of conviction. As the only woman to have occupied a treasury portfolio, she was an unheralded trailblazer; her success despite her sex under misogynistic Mr Howard a testament to her talent.

Her major fault: her bottle blonde hair.

Good luck in your future endeavours, Senator Coonan.

As for her likely successor in the finance portfolio… I watched Barnaby Joyce on Insiders on Sunday. I have been firm in my conviction for some time now that the man is a crackpot. Now, I think he is a stupid crackpot. What Barnaby says, if you listen closely enough, makes no sense.

I don’t just mean from a policy perspective: after listening to a good ten minutes of ranting and raving, I realised that I could only discern meaning in about 10% of what he said. His sentences often make no sense. Some appear to make sense but then, in a heartbeat, the entire focus of the sentence (let alone the tense, subject and object) changes. He never finishes thoughts, and speaks in clichés.

And if being a minister means that he will be “concentrating on the file in front of him” as he claims he will now do, one wonders what he’s been doing until now...

NSW: The Soap Opera State.

I do not claim to know much about New South Wales’ politics. But I know I have at least two readers there. This one’s for you, kids.

You might be forgiven for thinking that after watching the implosion of the Liberal Party earlier in the week, and seeing the scorn heaped upon them by media and public alike, that NSW Labor might have recognised the importance of party unity.

Apparently not.

Joe Tripodi and Eddie Obeid (characters of whose existence I am only aware due to their recent sacking as ministers, and their association with every leadership tussle in NSW politics from Rees’ elevation onwards) seem intent on ditching the Premier, and installing a more amenable, acquiescent leader.

Tripodi and Obeid are treacherous fellows, doubtless motivated at least in part by a desire for revenge after their recent dismissal. But the fifteen others they’ve managed to cajole into supporting their spill are, news reports suggest, motivated by a desire to stem the sustained haemorrhaging of electoral support for the government.

After the disaster that was the Iemma premiership, Labor was never going to win the next election. But the magnitude of the now inevitable loss is exacerbated by the petty, internecine struggles that now characterise NSW Labor. It has forgotten about the business of government and forgotten about the people of New South Wales. Rees, on the other hand, seems genuinely distressed by the current plight of his state.

The malcontents don’t need a leadership spill to find the solution to their problem, they need a mirror.

Curiouser and Curiouser

There is much to be said about the election of Tony Abbott to the leadership of the Liberal Party. But for now I just want everyone to think about this:

The rabble that is the Liberal Party now finds itself in the curious position of offering the Australian people the “best solution” to a problem which its leader doesn’t actually believe exists.

If you understand how this is an improvement in policy (and remember it was policy, not leadership, that supposedly brought this tussle on) let me know. And while you’re at it, you might want to flick off an email to Liberal HQ, too.

Abbott/Bishop Combination: Liberals show their true colours.